The Lowe-Down

How well do you think you would go as a competitor in Survivor? This is a question that occasionally gets floated at the dinner table in our house. I tap out early, knowing my tendency to cease functioning without a plentiful food supply but other members of the family rather fancy their chances. Being a competitor in a show like Survivor is an interesting thing to put your hand up for. Sure, there is the allure of a cash price if you happen to make it to the end. But is that one-in-twenty-four chance enough to warrant days of rough living, minimal food, and grueling physical and mental challenges? And if you aren’t sure about that, how about signing up for the popular military training reality show, SAS Australia. In this show we see Aussie celebrities take on a series of physical and psychological tests from an elite team of ex-Special Forces soldiers and it makes Survivor look like a walk in the park!

There is a strange disconnect between the appeal of volunteering to endure these hardships and our commitment to maximizing our own comfort in life. It is almost as if we recognize the character-building benefits of these challenges, and we are happy to experience them vicariously through reality TV, but any actual personal discomfort is to be avoided at all costs. In part, this is a natural reaction to the last few years. As the global pandemic played out, we were encouraged to look after ourselves, be kind to ourselves, go easy on ourselves… Our instinct in the face of uncertainty has been to seek comfort and familiarity. But are we in danger of taking this too far? Has our desire for comfort become damaging?  Author and speaker Skye Jethani quotes world-renowned orthopaedic specialist and leprosy surgeon Dr. Paul Brand in this reflection on the idol of comfort:

“Dr. Paul Brand wrote a book about his work with lepers called, Pain: The Gift Nobody Wants. He said: “I thank God for pain, I cannot think of a greater gift I could give to my leprosy patients. Most people view pain as an enemy . . . Yet, without it, heart attacks, strokes, ruptured appendixes, and stomach ulcers would all occur without any warning. Who would ever visit a doctor apart from pain’s warnings?” Dr. Brand not only wrote about the potential gift of pain but also the great danger of endless comfort. We assume that being comfortable is necessary in order to experience happiness, joy, and pleasure. That is why our culture almost universally celebrates comfort as an undeniable good. Dr. Brand, however, rejects this cultural belief and diagnoses the true nature of the idol of comfort. “Properly understood,” he said, “comfort is not feeling good, but feeling nothing at all.” The sort of comfort pursued by our consumer culture isn’t merely the soothing of pain. Rather, it is the numbing of feelings altogether. Comfort is the semi-vegetative state we enter when scrolling on our phones or when ingesting yet another video fed to us by YouTube’s algorithm. In this way, the idol of comfort doesn’t just insulate us from pain, struggle, and suffering, but also from true joy, gratitude, and any awareness of the sanctifying presence of God as well.”

I must confess that I have felt the attraction of that numbing comfort myself at times. It feels safe and asks little of us. I can appreciate why so many, especially young people, are drawn to it. The sight of my own children, headphones in ears, staring vacantly at a screen or into the middle distance can simultaneously infuriates me and make me a little jealous. Wouldn’t it be nice to just switch off from the world like that? Except that I know it is not actually helpful in the long run. Not only does it not equip us to deal with the inevitable challenges of life, but it also denies us the joys and thrills as well. A life seeking comfort is not a life lived to the full.

It should be no surprise then that the same Jesus who said, “I came so that everyone would have life, and have it in its fullest.” (John 10:10) called his followers with a pitch that sounds more like the sign-up for SAS Australia. “Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.” (Matthew 16:24). “I have told you this, so that you might have peace in your hearts because of me. While you are in the world, you will have to suffer.” (John 16:33)

Whether we are exploring Jesus’ invitation to follow Him or simply trying to get the most out of life for ourselves and our children, there is something to be said for embracing discomfort. It may hurt a bit but it may also open the door to new joys and delights.

May you experience life to the full, with all its joys and heartaches.

Now if I could just get my kids to take their headphones out of their ears…